Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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