dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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