he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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