I met the friendliest cop last night
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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