omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
