Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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