hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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