Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
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We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
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He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
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