I'm jealous of your bromance
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
