guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize