Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?