This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
23 “Girl Codes” Guys Probably Don’t Know About
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.