Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.