I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?