I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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