Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
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you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
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I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
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