she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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