We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
