I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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