can we get nightvision for the apartment?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize