I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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