I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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