so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
