Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
