I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
