I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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