he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is classic penis vs brain.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize