this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I intend to get homeless drunk
bring money and cleavage
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
