This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
