i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
