I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I wish there were birth control emojis
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
