I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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