How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
