god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
