did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
