no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
