just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
