20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
