Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
