oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
