Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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