Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
