Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
