I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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