Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
you had me at cake vodka
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.