I just made out with a guy for $7.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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