We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
