Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
