bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
