im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
