As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
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