Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
