i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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