if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
