I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
the raccoons are back...
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