I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
