Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
