yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
