It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Randomize
