so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
