I'm jealous of your bromance
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
