I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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