So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
