Apparently you make a good broom.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
